Dating is a challenge at any age and for both women and men. Ladies worry about your hair, your make-up and whether you look fat. The men worry is their tie straight (if they wear one), do they have enough money, and whether or not you will like him. Basically both sexes are worrying about whether they are liked and accepted.
Believe it or not there are things that you can do to make your date less stressful. Make your date feel comfortable. If you are throwing questions at your date, they may feel like they are on trial. Let the conversation happen naturally and most of your questions open-ended. This means that while yes and no questions while used sparingly, are fine, they can lead to stilted conversation and tension. Talk about all kinds of topics and try to engage your date in the conversation. Never force conversation.
Here’s one you hear all the time. “Relax, be yourself, you’ll be fine” Share your interests but listen to your date too. Both of you will probably be nervous so try to relax. One of the most important things you can do is be on time either to pick-up your date or be ready to be picked up.
There are things you should definitely not do on a date. Don’t talk about yourself all night and don’t complain and whine about your ex, your date will wonder what you will say about them. Don’t ask too many questions-it’s not the Inquisition. Don’t be late picking up your date or in getting ready. Most importantly, don’t forget to thank your date for a good time.
Dating is about getting to know your date and letting them get to know you. Try doing something different that you haven’t tried up until now. Alternate deciding where you are going, it could relieve a lot of tension and you just might learn something very interesting.
One other very important, in fact, it could be most important, is dating safety. There are so many ways to meet someone now that it’s fairly easy for anyone with less than good intentions to be able to follow through on them. The suggestions that follow while addressed to ladies, men pay attention because reality is, is that you too could be a target.
For the first few dates go to public places and not isolated ones. If you are meeting someone that you have been talking to online there are several things you can do to keep yourself safe aside from meeting in a very public place. Don’t go alone, have a friend or two go to the same place and sit where they can see you and your table at all times.
You might consider this even if you have met your date already. The nice guy you met at the library may seem sweet but he may not be. If you have any kind of uncomfortable feeling, listen to your gut and do what you have to do to be safe.
Try to learn about your date. Where does he live? What kind of work does he do? If he doesn’t want to tell you I wouldn’t consider dating him a second time. He may be very nice and the most loving person but be careful if he won’t share some personal information. I suppose giving too much information could be a warning signal too.
You’ve heard of date rape drugs well they can not only be put in alcoholic beverages but in soda, tea, coffee, or water. Actually they can go in almost any beverage. This is one reason to have someone you know nearby so that if you leave the table they can kind of keep an eye the table (and your date). Watch how much alcohol you consume. You want to keep your wits about you at all times and if you are driving this is even more important.
Use any safety devices that you can (and ones that are legal). The most important tool anyone can have is a cell phone, whether man or woman your can break down or be in a crash. The cell phone will bring help that much quicker. You should have it programmed so that you only have to press one number for 911.
Many can be programmed that when you hold down a particular key 911 is automatically dialed. Most cell phones have GPS capability. Pepper sprays, high decibel personal alarms are two more safety tools. Check with your local police and attorney to see what is acceptable in your community. Many areas have banned pepper sprays.
Other general safety advice whether dating or not is never go anywhere unfamiliar alone. Always wear your seatbelt. If someone grabs you with a weapon and ordered to go with him or her it is suggested by some that you take a stand right away. Scream, yell, bite, or kick or do anything you have to do to become safe.
Go for the groin and the eyes. Shove the heel of your hand into the assailant’s nose very hard. Yell Fire!! People will react to fire rather than help.
This next thing is something to do in almost any situation not just dating. When giving out personal information to someone be careful how much you tell them.
I remember when keeping yourself safe wasn’t such a serious matter. There are new ways to overpower someone and to cover up a crime. Keep yourself safe, and lastly always let someone know where you are planning to go and if you can the person that will accompany you.
